In 2014 two artists got together. It was a rather unlikely collaboration, but it was a powerful one. Olubowale Akintimehin, better known as the hip-hop artist Wale (pronounced WAH-lay) and comedian Jerry Seinfeld created a song called ‘The Matrimony’ for the album – ‘The Album About Nothing. As the word matrimony might infer, they were discussing marriage.
While working on this track, Wale questioned Seinfeld about his thoughts on marriage. According to James Clear , Seinfeld talked about what it felt like to get engaged. He reportedly explained the combination of excitement and nervousness and helplessness that made engagement feel like being strapped into a roller coaster headed to the top of the hill where the marriage awaits. (replace marriage with growing a Private Practice, does some of this imagery sound a tad familiar????)
Clear writes, Wale paused for a moment, looked at Seinfeld, and said, “So, even if you make plans you never think you’re really ready for marriage?”
“No,” Seinfeld said. “It’s like any growth. You can’t be ready for it because it’s growth. It’s going to be new. You’re going to have a new life. You’re going to be a new person.”
Did you read that – you can’t be ready for growth because it’s growth. It’s going to be new.
I have spoken to and met many many clinicians who want growth to feel good, all the time. They want the increased revenue; they want the lifestyle, they want the feeling of accomplishment – but they want to do it without growing. They want the results without having to test what they know; without having to get their thinking straightened, without taking some level of risk, without taking responsibility for the decisions and without being kept accountable for the promises they make themselves.
We happen to live in a day and age where if we can’t have it NOW then we would prefer to not have it at all because it’s too hard and I don’t want growth if it’s going to hurt, be confronting or be uncomfortable.
This would be why you find after 1 Facebook post you give up on trying to fill your event;
Or why you try to copy someone else’s headline and you don’t get open rates of 99%
Or you create a video like everyone else is doing and you don’t get millions of views…
Growth takes some effort and it takes patience and it takes persistence. Have you ever tried to lose weight? Or learn a language? Or teach a child how to walk??? No one suggests to a toddler that if they can’t walk the first time they try then they should stop trying 
You’re Not Ready for Growth
I really liked what Seinfeld and Clear had to say about Growth. It helped to articulate for me why so many people will come to the edge of growth and then back away.
We think we have to be ready
We think we need to feel ready
We think someone will tell us when we are ready
However, chances are if you have too much to do or don’t have enough to do or want to learn how to do things differently, say with more grace and ease – then you are ready to grow.
Think about the tiny new seedling pushing its way through the topsoil. I’m sure it wasn’t feeling awesome and good the moment before it had to push through and reach up. And if you need a stronger image let’s think about growing a human baby. Having been pregnant I can tell you there was NOTHING comfortable about growing that baby. What with the morning sickness, the weird cravings; the tiny feet under my rib cage; the heartburn…
And then there is the actual BIRTH when that child needs more space to grow – how uncomfortable was that! Was I ready – Nope, I was not. There was nothing in all of the pre-reading, classes, stories of others, that would have prepared me for that growth. I could not have done any more research to have been better prepared.
Clear helps us articulate what growth is like….By definition, growth must be something that makes you feel unprepared and uncertain. If it was comfortable and easy, it wouldn’t be growth. It would be normal. It would be standard. It would be who you already are.
There is never going to be a PERFECT time to go to that training; hire that Business Manager; build that new income stream; work on your mindset…if you wait for all of your ducks to line up in a row, then you are not ready for growth. I’m not suggesting you should go into massive debt or start working 100 hours a week, that would be unwise and unhealthy and I’m not into that. I am suggesting, however, there is some point when you will have to say, OK this feels uncomfortable, I feel uncertain but that’s OK because I’m curious to know what is NEXT.
I know some of your reading this will be asking- am I, should I, what if I …. so here are some clear signals to know that you are NOT ready to grow
1. Your lack of growth is someone else’s fault. Meaning you are blaming other people; circumstances, poor stars alignment, ugly manifestation juice for your lack of growth. If it is someone else’s fault, or something else’s’ fault then you are NOT ready to grow.
2. You want to be rescued – aka Searching for the Silver Bullet. I know this because I lived this. You will not grow until you GIVE up wanting to be rescued by the silver bullet. Just like we do not expect our life partners to rescue us, we cannot expect the latest thing with promises of the sunshine, rainbows, and puppies with all the feels to rescue us – if you want to be rescued by some quick fix then you are not ready to grow.
You actually want the results in advance, and I do not know where anyone can guarantee results in advance?
3. You have an inherent belief that it WILL NOT WORK for you. I cannot tell you how many times I have had clinicians in Private Practice on a call with me and we’ve gone through all of the steps, we’ve reviewed and reinforced and reframed the biggest issues stopping them from growing the way they want to grow. We spell out what exactly needs to happen (and if you’ve even been on a strategy call with me you know I give you a lot of the HOW not just the WHAT) and you say YES. YES, Jo, I want to grow, I want this with all my heart and I know this is the best thing for me and yes you get me……Only to turn around 24 hours later and express – well ummm Jo, you know what… I get that you’ve helped many many many clinicians grow and I’ve read their testimonials on your website and I even reached out to 2 people on your site who recommended you – but you know what, I’m really so so special that everything you have said, that I did agree with – well you see it’s just not going to work for me.
SIGH – you wanna know what’s really going on here – it’s got nothing to do with my tried and proven methods or those of any other coach, or service provider you have spoken too – think VA, Business Manager, Copy Writer; Writing Coach, Consultant; Web Designer….
What you are really saying to me is the following – Jo, thank you, but I don’t believe that I can do this. Even with your help, I don’t think I can.
Any decent coach or consultant or service provider will hold the certainty of success for you for a while – that’s just what we do because we believe in what we can offer – but if you, if you can’t take that back or won’t pick up that baton, then I’m sorry but you are NOT ready to grow.
4. You are Unteachable. If you already know everything Or have tried everything. Or know why and how the recommendations being made won’t work, then you obviously don’t need to grow because you know everything there is to know. So awesome for you – this post obviously isn’t for you. You aren’t going to grow cos you’ve kinda arrived and there is nothing more for you.
5. You crave 1000% certainty. You know where you need to do more research or speak to yet another person (because 5 isn’t enough) who has already done, or purchased that thing you think might help; or where you wait for another blog post to see if there is a spelling error in it, because you know if there is a spelling error then, of course, you now have the evidence to know that person isn’t professional; then there is where your 10 most searched questions into Google are….. “how to choose a < insert service provider title here> . If you need to feel 100% certain 100% of the time then you are NOT ready to grow.
You can’t be ready for true growth. That’s why it’s growth. All you can do is step into it with everything you’ve got. ~ The solution as spoken by James Clear in the quote above is you have to embrace the uncertainty and be Bold.
If you ask an “expert” for their assistance then you need to TRUST that they can and will assist you – if it turns out they can’t, then be prepared to take the risk of saying, No thank you I will find someone else.
Growing means backing yourself. That’s doesn’t mean that you will get it 100% right 100% of the time. It means that you will trust yourself to find a way, to find a solution, to know what to do next.
Are you ready for Growth?
Of course not! I just explained how you are not ready.
Do you want to grow despite not being ready?
Scary Huh? But that’s OK, it won’t feel like this forever.
What do you need to do?
Who do you need to call?
What do you need to quit?
What do you need to start?
It’s time – it’s your time, and it’s the right time.
If you are ready to growth despite feeling uncertain and a little bit scared then let me share something wonderful with you. It’s the Success Mindset Masterclass happening this September 14-17 in San Francisco. http://jomuirhead.com/2017-masterclass/
This event will help you uncover why
- you feel afraid
- what stuff keeps getting in the way of your growth – not only do we uncover it,
but we will do something about it.Armed with
- new knowledge
- new skills
- new neural pathways
you will have what it takes to prepare for the next stage of Growth that’s coming your way
Here’s to Your Success!!
Jo is all about connecting people to purpose through inspiration and innovation. She is the Founder, Director and Principal Consultant of Purple Co www.PurpleCo.com.au, a team of specialist allied health consultants dedicated to helping people who experience injury illness and trauma reclaim their lives through work.
Jo is passionate about the health benefits of work and truly believes that everyone has the right to meaningful and rewarding employment. Purple Co grew out of this belief as a truncated form of PURpose for peoPLE.
Jo and her team also provide a range of career development and coaching services to professionals who are ready to explore a change in their career and find the map towards career fulfillment. She is Uber passionate about private practice. You should see the video on her home page of her website. She loves to empower clinicians to build profitable and sustainable businesses through doing more of the work they love, the way they love to do it (www.jomuirhead.com).
 I know this analogy isn’t new, but I was reminded of it as I read this awesome book this past couple of days http://www.lulu.com/au/en/shop/mary-barker/women-of-independent-means/paperback/product-22913561.html